Three months with Jesus. I know you are having fun... but, I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without you.
There is no escaping the pain. Your brother is in unbelievable pain. He gouges your name into everything he can find...and he remembers you every minute of every day.
These are some of the reasons I am still alive: a) the unshakeable knowledge that if I ended my own life it would not bring me to where you are, b) your brother needs me and c) I have a job to do.
My hands miss combing your thick brown hair. My eyes miss delighting in your growth. My lips miss kissing your chubby cheeks. My ears miss hearing the laughter of siblings in our house. My nose misses the smell of the folds of your neck. My cheeks miss your sloppy kisses. The breasts that nursed you faithfully for your first year of life...ache. And I miss your notes under my pillow. My womb was robbed. A warrior has risen.
Here is my battle cry:
Guess what, America? You have my daughter's blood on your hands. And I will not be bullied into being quiet.
2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
32 people will die today from a gun tragedy. That's 32 humans.
Before Newtown, our leaders KNEW that we were burying - on average - one child every two weeks in Chicago alone. One CHILD every two weeks! And yet they did nothing. Before my dead first grader even had a funeral, Wayne LaPierre was already espousing hatred on the airwaves. I can't help but wonder if he's ever actually had to look at the body of child riddled with bullets. Yet I cannot bring myself to hate him. He is a lost soul and does not represent a good number of compassionate gun owners. I wonder what he's doing Easter week end? Mr. LaPierre, you're welcome to come to Sandy Hook and explain to my son why we have one less place setting. You can even sleep over and stay in Ana's empty bed.
I've spent the past few weeks quietly listening and watching and here's what I see:
Many mental health advocates saying "Hey don't look at us. This is a gun issue".
Many gun advocates saying "Hey don't look at us. This is a mental health issue".
Many in the video game industry saying "Hey don't look at us. We have nothing to do with this. It's a gun and mental health issue."
Guess what, America? You have my daughter's blood on your hands. And, there is only one option now: UNITE for common sense solutions to address our culture of violence.
Many days are hopeless and dark for me. I pray for peace and restoration.
My friends and lovers of all things Ana stood for: peace will not come without cost. My family and many others have paid the ultimate price.
Please encourage your leaders to advocate for common sense legislation that addresses comprehensive changes to our mental health, video game and gun laws.
Tell them we don't believe we should have to pick between protecting our rights and our children. Tell them we want new, innovative approaches to these problems. Tell them you know there is enough middle ground. Take the time to write and call your representatives.
The teddy bears are nice. Your letter and calls would be even better.
Mothers, fathers, grandparents, care-givers, Americans: make your voices heard, and spread this message. On behalf of Ana and the 32 people who will die today...
We love you. Thank you for your prayers, love and support, donations, kind words, and acts of kindness done in Ana's name.
All reminders that - in the midst of all of this - Love IS winning...
Sincerely,
Ana's mom
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