Sweet Darlin'

Sammi

i don't know
how much time she has
what i do know is that
she needs help going up and down the stairs,
she has a huge dent in the right side of her head that is
making her skull vanish and her eye is always leaking fluid, which i wipe away gently with a tissue
she can't even hear me, but if i sing really loud ( cause that sounds good when I sing ) if i sing really loud to her, her favorite song like this:
"wooo ooooo oooooo ooooo ooooooooooooo sweet darlin, you gut the best of my love".... ( holla if ya know that song, it's an old one but she loves, cause she does) but if i sing it really loudly to her, you can actually see her ears rise up and twitch...
she is Sammi,
my beautiful black 16 year old labrador,
aka Sweet Darlin Senior Love
it is so hard to accept that she doesn't have much time left
and
i miss the days when she could run it and jump it and hear me sing songs to her
and she knew my voice sucked but she didn't care cause i was there and i was singin to her and
by her side,
i miss watchin her swim in the lake in nh
and
how whenever we gave hugs in front of her, she got soooo jealous she'd go crazy barking
and would jump it up on her hind legs to be apart of the hug,
i wish my kids could of known her
when she was like that and when
she was playful and chased the squirrels on the fence in mama's yard, smashin against it sometimes knocking those little scrawny squirrels right off their asses & right off the fence,
yeah, i guess i already miss Sammi
and she is still here but is she really here?
now she looks sad most of the time,
hardly does she wag her tale
but she still loves to eat ( that's my dog!)
and maybe we are selfish for holdin onto her
but
it's so hard to say goodbye.....
it's so hard to look at my mother's kitchen floor which is
covered with area rugs just for Seniors convenience, to make it easier for her to walk without slipping,
it's so hard to imagine her not laying there
whether she is just sleeping with her big nose between her old senior paws
or whether she is looking around at my crazy kids run by her or me close up in her face singin "wooo sweet darlin", ...
she is there
it's never going to be easy to say good-bye
i'm going to cry
i love u Sweet Darlin Senior Love
you are right up there with the love i feel for my kids
and
that is huge love.....
Please don't go Sammi, we want you to stay as long as you can....
but when you show us you are too tired to go on,
we will carry you....
in
my
heart
i will always carry
you.