I saw my mother today and she wasn’t feeling that well. She looked good – but this round hit her very hard, very quickly. It’s because the body never got the chance to fully recover from the last round, and then they hit her again. It will probably be worse next week, but then she will have one week off and she should feel good then. She is not nauseous from food or the drugs, but I think from all the post-nasal that the chemo is causing. It happened with me because chemo attacks all fast growing cells – hair follicles, mucus membranes, etc., which is why people get mouth sores, post-nasal, etc. during chemo. So, she is having all that junk drain down, make her nauseous and throw the mucus up. I told her to take something to dry it up (Claritin, her prescription nasal spray), but she is SO stubborn and “doesn’t want to take anything else.” Well, if it is going to help you, take it – why be miserable? So, she is really just wiped today. I think over the weekend, she should start to recover and, hopefully, by Monday, feel good. I have to make sure she eats on days like today because she is just sleeping and then I am working at dinner time, Matthew is useless, and she won’t ask for help if she needs it. I had Joe go by and check on her – he gave her a pep talk and asked what she wanted to eat. She mentioned that food tasted funny, but she wanted pancakes, so he went home, made the pancakes and brought them back and he said she was eating them when he left. I will be back there tomorrow morning, so I will help her out with things around the house (whatever she will allow me to do, that is). I just want to burst into tears when I see her laying on the couch like that – so heartbreaking. I know today she wanted to give up – and I told her she needs to fight at least until the next scan (in June) and see what is going on. We will use the scans as a “destination” – so it doesn’t appear overwhelming. When she is having her good days (like yesterday), she is ready to fight, but I totally understand how the chemo wears you down physically and mentally.
She knows that you are there for her – but she also knows that you have the folks to take care of. Call her on Monday or Tuesday and I’ll bet she will be up for talking your ear off!! I keep hoping that one day I will see the two of you walking by the house again, on your way to the park in Everett. You and Kris have been so wonderful to us – she did offer her help and it is SO appreciated!
Love you all so much,
Missy
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